A long story but very useful & informative.
We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits,
cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy
as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.
What is the correct way of eating fruits?
It means not eating fruits after your meals!
Fruits should be eaten on an empty stomach.
If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system,
supplying you with a great deal of energy for
weight loss and other life activities.
Fruit is the most important food.
Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then 2 slices of fruit.
The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach
into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.
In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid.
The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach
and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.
So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals!
You have heard people complaining - every time I eat watermelon
I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a
banana I feel like running to the toilet etc - actually all this
will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach.
The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food
and produces gas and hence you will bloat!
Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles
under the eyes all these will not happen if
you take fruits on an empty stomach.
There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon
are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body,
according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this
matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating
fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity,
health, energy, happiness and normal weight.
When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice,
not from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up.
Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all.
You only get to taste. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.
But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice.
If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly,
because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.
You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body.
Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the
3 days and you will be surprised when your
friends tell you how radiant you look!
K I W I
Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium,
magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C
content is twice that of an orange.
A P P L E
An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple
has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids
which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping
to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.
STRAWBERRY
Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total
antioxidant power among major fruits & protect
the body from cancer-causing, blood
vessel-clogging free radicals.
ORANGE
Sweetest medicine. Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help
keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve
kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.
WATERMELON
Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water,
it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione
which helps boost our immune system. They are
also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting
oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon
are vitamin C & Potassium.
GUAVA & PAPAYA
Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners
for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich
in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya
is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.
Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer!
Can you believe this? For those who like to drink cold water,
this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of
cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify
the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down
the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will
break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than
the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will
turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot
soup, warm water or warm beer after a meal.
Serious note about heart attacks - Course of a heart attack
Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is
going to be the left arm hurting - this not a joke! Be aware of
intense pain in the jaw line.. You may never have first the
chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea
and intense sweating are also common symptoms..
60 percent of people who have a heart attack while
they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can
wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware.
The more we know the better chance we could survive...
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to
10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Read this...It could save your life !!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Andy Lau’s wife pregnant
Monday September 7, 2009
Andy Lau’s wife pregnant
Compiled by LEE YUK PENG, ZALINAH NOORDIN and A. RAMAN
HONG Kong actor-singer Andy Lau will be a father next year, reported Sin Chew Daily, China Press and Nanyang Siang Pau.
All the dailies quoted a magazine in Hong Kong, which reported that Lau and his wife Carol Chu had started artificial insemination procedure after they registered their marriage in Las Vegas on June 23 last year.
In the limelight: Lau and Chu registered their marriage in Las Vegas on June 23 last year. — AP
Nanyang quoted the magazine as saying that Chu was now pregnant.
It was not easy for Lau, 48 and Chu, 43 to conceive due to their age.
A gynaecologist from Hong Kong was also quoted by the magazine as saying that Hong Kong law did not impose any age limit for woman who wanted to undergo artificial insemination.
However, it would be better if the procedure was performed before she turned 50.
Sin Chew reported that Lau had used his fan club, Andy World Club’s address as the address in their marriage certificate.
Star, 2009, Andy Lau’s wife pregnant [Online],
Available from,
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/9/7/nation/4664935&sec=nation,
[Accessed on 7 September 2009]
Andy Lau’s wife pregnant
Compiled by LEE YUK PENG, ZALINAH NOORDIN and A. RAMAN
HONG Kong actor-singer Andy Lau will be a father next year, reported Sin Chew Daily, China Press and Nanyang Siang Pau.
All the dailies quoted a magazine in Hong Kong, which reported that Lau and his wife Carol Chu had started artificial insemination procedure after they registered their marriage in Las Vegas on June 23 last year.
In the limelight: Lau and Chu registered their marriage in Las Vegas on June 23 last year. — AP
Nanyang quoted the magazine as saying that Chu was now pregnant.
It was not easy for Lau, 48 and Chu, 43 to conceive due to their age.
A gynaecologist from Hong Kong was also quoted by the magazine as saying that Hong Kong law did not impose any age limit for woman who wanted to undergo artificial insemination.
However, it would be better if the procedure was performed before she turned 50.
Sin Chew reported that Lau had used his fan club, Andy World Club’s address as the address in their marriage certificate.
Star, 2009, Andy Lau’s wife pregnant [Online],
Available from,
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/9/7/nation/4664935&sec=nation,
[Accessed on 7 September 2009]
NATURAL HEALER
At the age of 30, Chinese doctor Tom Wu was
diagnosed with advanced stages of lung cancer, and was told he
had only a few months to live. However, Dr Wu, who recently
spoke with Mylife, has already reached 70 years old, and to our
surprise, he still looks like a young and healthy man in his 50s.
Not only has he survived, but the doctor has maintained a
healthy life. The cancer is all gone, and he said he's
never caught a cold or other illness for 40 years.
He has stopped going for blood tests."My body and feelings
tell me I'm well, that I'm truly in good health," says Dr.Wu.
His secret lies in the power of natural healing. Dr Wu always
says that no wonder drug can cure diseases. But our own
internal healing power,our immune system, can. And what can
strengthen our immune system are simple foods from Mother
Nature, and a healthy lifestyle.
In his view, diseases such as cancer, diabetes and heart
disease can be overcome by changing the diet. Dr Wu says
people get sick because they eat the wrong foods. Fried food,
for example, causes blockage in the arteries, bad circulation,
cholesterol, and heart disease.
"Instead of taking a cholesterol lowering drug, I would urge
them to stop eating greasy food. My suggestion is to eat clean
food, which is high in phytochemicals," he says. Phytochemicals
are natural cleansing agents that will help rid plaque from your
arteries. They come from natural foods such as vegetables, fruits
with their seeds, and common garden herbs. Phytochemicals will
nourish the body's cells so they can fight against any foreign
substances that invade your body.
Dr Wu's outstanding contributions to the development of
natural medicine earned him the "World Famous Doctor
Award" from the UN in 2001, and the "Best Wellness Doctor of
the World" award from India 's World Wellness Open University
in March.
The secrets of how he won the fight against lung cancer and
maintains a healthy body are revealed in his first book,
Dr Wu's Principle of Natural Cures, which has recently been
translated from its original Chinese version into a Thai edition,
Thammachart Chuay Chewit, published by Nanmeebooks
Publications. It was launched in Thailand in March.
Dr Wu says what's written in the book is unique and easy to
understand because "the author is both the doctor and the
patient himself". All the ideas and guidelines suggested in
the book come from his own experience as well as what he
has learned from his patients.
Dr Wu turns to natural medicine. Dr Wu had first studied
Western medicine in France , and then furthered his
education in alternative therapy, earning a doctorate degree.
The turning point arrived when he was diagnosed with lung
cancer at the age of 30. Modern medicine gave him no hope;
it was too late to remove the damaged parts of the lung.
The cancer had already spread to other organs, and the
doctor told him he had only a few months left.
In his despair, Dr Wu picked up the Bible and prayed to
God. Then the Bible fell to the floor, and he read the page
it opened to carefully. The chapter talked about the days
God created the Earth and everything needed for human
beings. Then he created Adam and Eve,and told bothof
them that plants, vegetables and seeded fruits growing
on Earth have been provided for them to eat.
"I thought about what I had eaten in the past - meat,
fish, fried and grilled food, sweet cake, but God simply
wanted us to eat vegetables and sour fruits. I was
confused and doubted whether I would become weak if I
ate too many vegetables and less meat," says Dr Wu.
Yet he decided to follow the Bible's guidance. He ate a
lot of vegetables and fruits, drank clean water, and
completely adjusted his lifestyle - his sleeping,
breathing and exercise habits.
Nine months later, he went for a check-up, and
surprisingly no cancer cells were detected.
He advised people in his family and in the
neighbourhood about his discovery, and studied natural
medicine until he received a doctorate degree in
naturopathy and nutrition from the US .
Dr Wu has been a frequent speaker at worldwide
forums, spreading his knowledge on natural cures and
the use of organic food. He advises people to use the
most simple foods in the most natural way in order to
fight illnesses and maintain good health.
Dr Wu's secrets to good health Published: 7/05/2009
at 12:00 AM, Newspaper section: Mylife
The human body has the power to heal itself. The
immune system has a self-defence mechanism to block
and destroy bacteria or viruses that invade our bodies,
while the self-healing mechanism will get us back on the
road to recovery. When you have a cold and take
medicine, the medication may kill the virus but your
immune system will not fully function, and its efficiency
will decrease.
As a result, your body will be more vulnerable to germs.
Dr Wu's principle is to strengthen the immune system,
and avoid medication as much as possible. In his book,
he offers the following guidelines to good health:
1. Have at least three bowel movements a day.
Other health experts may advise one bowel
movement a day, but Dr Wu says that's not enough.
You need three to four bowel movements a day in
order to excrete all the accumulated faeces from your
intestine. Your liver will not be overburdened and it
also helps reduce cholesterol in your body.
2. Drink at least three glasses of fruit or vegetable
smoothies each day.
This is a way to ingest enough phytochemicals to
strengthen the body's cells and immune system. Use
not only the flesh, but also the skin and seeds of fruits
and vegetables to make smoothies, as they are rich in
phytochemicals. Most of the fruit seeds have small
amounts of cyanide which kill bacteria and viruses
without damaging the body.
Actually the recommended smoothie diet is six
glasses a day, two in the morning, one before lunch,
two more in the afternoon, and one more before dinner.
However, if that's too much, you may start with three
glasses a day.
Use a high powered blender (at least three horsepower)
has it can release phytochemicals from the fibre.
It's best to choose sour fruits like green or red apples,
grapes, pineapples, kiwi and lime.
3. Sunbathe 30 minutes daily.
We often hear that the Sun's UV rays will damage our
skin, and many people apply sunblock before going out.
But Dr Wu says the opposite. He says the UV rays will help
convert cholesterol underneath the skin into vitamin A which
helps moisten the skin and prevent skin cancer, and also
vitamin D that helps prevent colds, osteoporosis, and certain
kinds of cancer.
"Therefore, use the Sun. Expose yourself to sunlight about
one-half hour a day, at noon or another appropriate time based
on your local climate. The Sun will make you healthier," says
Dr Wu.
4. Exercise 30 minutes a day.
Don't exercise for more than 30 minutes. If you go beyond that,
your body will be overworked. "If you do it more than half an hour,
that will become labour, not exercise. Your heart and your body
will be working too hard," he says.
5. Shower with hot, then cold water.
Try an alternating cold and hot water shower: Three minutes
of hot water followed by 30 seconds of cold water, then
repeat twice more. This process will bring a rush of blood and
energy to your body. It helps increase your immune system,
blood circulation, and metabolism.
6. Drink a lot of water, in the correct way.
How much water you need to drink each day depends on your
specific situation. If your office is air-conditioned, drinking six
glasses of water a day is enough.
If your work involves lots of walking, you have to drink 8-10
glasses a day. If you work under the hot sun, then 10-12
glasses of water are required.
The way you drink is also important. The correct way is to
sip it little by little, to give your body cells time to absorb the
water. If you drink the whole glass down at once, your cells
can't absorb it all, and the water will be excreted as urine.
7. Eat according to your blood type.
Your blood type determines what you should eat. Eating the
wrong foods will make you sick.
People with blood type O have to eat a certain amount of
meat. If they eat only vegetables for a long time, their
body won't absorb all the substances they need to
strengthen their immune system. The recommended diet for
this group is 75% vegetables, 10% fruits, 10% meat, seafood
and goat's milk (avoid cow's milk), and 5% grains.
People with blood type A, however should avoid milk and
meat, while increasing grains and fruits.
People with blood type B should also avoid meat, while
those with blood type AB should avoid chicken and beef.
8. Eat according to your biological clock.
Every human being has a biological clock that tells us when
to eat, sleep, and wake up. If you don't follow your
biological clock, the organs will lose their balance.
Toxins and wastes won't be excreted from your body,
and soon you'll get sick.
According to Dr Wu, the biological clock is divided into
three phases.
From 4am to noon is the time for bowel movements, so in the
morning you should eat foods with lots of fibre. Fruit and
vegetable smoothies are recommended.
From noon to 8pm, your body will absorb food so lunch is
the most important meal. A vegetable salad with grains is
recommended...
Fish or boiled eggs can be added to your lunch. Avoid meat at
dinner as the amino acids in the meat will disturb your
sleep. Try to finish dinner by 6pm.
From 8pm to 4am, the nutrients and energy from food will be
distributed throughout your body organs. The golden time for
your sleep is between 10pm and 2am, as your immune and
self-healing system will function at its best.
diagnosed with advanced stages of lung cancer, and was told he
had only a few months to live. However, Dr Wu, who recently
spoke with Mylife, has already reached 70 years old, and to our
surprise, he still looks like a young and healthy man in his 50s.
Not only has he survived, but the doctor has maintained a
healthy life. The cancer is all gone, and he said he's
never caught a cold or other illness for 40 years.
He has stopped going for blood tests."My body and feelings
tell me I'm well, that I'm truly in good health," says Dr.Wu.
His secret lies in the power of natural healing. Dr Wu always
says that no wonder drug can cure diseases. But our own
internal healing power,our immune system, can. And what can
strengthen our immune system are simple foods from Mother
Nature, and a healthy lifestyle.
In his view, diseases such as cancer, diabetes and heart
disease can be overcome by changing the diet. Dr Wu says
people get sick because they eat the wrong foods. Fried food,
for example, causes blockage in the arteries, bad circulation,
cholesterol, and heart disease.
"Instead of taking a cholesterol lowering drug, I would urge
them to stop eating greasy food. My suggestion is to eat clean
food, which is high in phytochemicals," he says. Phytochemicals
are natural cleansing agents that will help rid plaque from your
arteries. They come from natural foods such as vegetables, fruits
with their seeds, and common garden herbs. Phytochemicals will
nourish the body's cells so they can fight against any foreign
substances that invade your body.
Dr Wu's outstanding contributions to the development of
natural medicine earned him the "World Famous Doctor
Award" from the UN in 2001, and the "Best Wellness Doctor of
the World" award from India 's World Wellness Open University
in March.
The secrets of how he won the fight against lung cancer and
maintains a healthy body are revealed in his first book,
Dr Wu's Principle of Natural Cures, which has recently been
translated from its original Chinese version into a Thai edition,
Thammachart Chuay Chewit, published by Nanmeebooks
Publications. It was launched in Thailand in March.
Dr Wu says what's written in the book is unique and easy to
understand because "the author is both the doctor and the
patient himself". All the ideas and guidelines suggested in
the book come from his own experience as well as what he
has learned from his patients.
Dr Wu turns to natural medicine. Dr Wu had first studied
Western medicine in France , and then furthered his
education in alternative therapy, earning a doctorate degree.
The turning point arrived when he was diagnosed with lung
cancer at the age of 30. Modern medicine gave him no hope;
it was too late to remove the damaged parts of the lung.
The cancer had already spread to other organs, and the
doctor told him he had only a few months left.
In his despair, Dr Wu picked up the Bible and prayed to
God. Then the Bible fell to the floor, and he read the page
it opened to carefully. The chapter talked about the days
God created the Earth and everything needed for human
beings. Then he created Adam and Eve,and told bothof
them that plants, vegetables and seeded fruits growing
on Earth have been provided for them to eat.
"I thought about what I had eaten in the past - meat,
fish, fried and grilled food, sweet cake, but God simply
wanted us to eat vegetables and sour fruits. I was
confused and doubted whether I would become weak if I
ate too many vegetables and less meat," says Dr Wu.
Yet he decided to follow the Bible's guidance. He ate a
lot of vegetables and fruits, drank clean water, and
completely adjusted his lifestyle - his sleeping,
breathing and exercise habits.
Nine months later, he went for a check-up, and
surprisingly no cancer cells were detected.
He advised people in his family and in the
neighbourhood about his discovery, and studied natural
medicine until he received a doctorate degree in
naturopathy and nutrition from the US .
Dr Wu has been a frequent speaker at worldwide
forums, spreading his knowledge on natural cures and
the use of organic food. He advises people to use the
most simple foods in the most natural way in order to
fight illnesses and maintain good health.
Dr Wu's secrets to good health Published: 7/05/2009
at 12:00 AM, Newspaper section: Mylife
The human body has the power to heal itself. The
immune system has a self-defence mechanism to block
and destroy bacteria or viruses that invade our bodies,
while the self-healing mechanism will get us back on the
road to recovery. When you have a cold and take
medicine, the medication may kill the virus but your
immune system will not fully function, and its efficiency
will decrease.
As a result, your body will be more vulnerable to germs.
Dr Wu's principle is to strengthen the immune system,
and avoid medication as much as possible. In his book,
he offers the following guidelines to good health:
1. Have at least three bowel movements a day.
Other health experts may advise one bowel
movement a day, but Dr Wu says that's not enough.
You need three to four bowel movements a day in
order to excrete all the accumulated faeces from your
intestine. Your liver will not be overburdened and it
also helps reduce cholesterol in your body.
2. Drink at least three glasses of fruit or vegetable
smoothies each day.
This is a way to ingest enough phytochemicals to
strengthen the body's cells and immune system. Use
not only the flesh, but also the skin and seeds of fruits
and vegetables to make smoothies, as they are rich in
phytochemicals. Most of the fruit seeds have small
amounts of cyanide which kill bacteria and viruses
without damaging the body.
Actually the recommended smoothie diet is six
glasses a day, two in the morning, one before lunch,
two more in the afternoon, and one more before dinner.
However, if that's too much, you may start with three
glasses a day.
Use a high powered blender (at least three horsepower)
has it can release phytochemicals from the fibre.
It's best to choose sour fruits like green or red apples,
grapes, pineapples, kiwi and lime.
3. Sunbathe 30 minutes daily.
We often hear that the Sun's UV rays will damage our
skin, and many people apply sunblock before going out.
But Dr Wu says the opposite. He says the UV rays will help
convert cholesterol underneath the skin into vitamin A which
helps moisten the skin and prevent skin cancer, and also
vitamin D that helps prevent colds, osteoporosis, and certain
kinds of cancer.
"Therefore, use the Sun. Expose yourself to sunlight about
one-half hour a day, at noon or another appropriate time based
on your local climate. The Sun will make you healthier," says
Dr Wu.
4. Exercise 30 minutes a day.
Don't exercise for more than 30 minutes. If you go beyond that,
your body will be overworked. "If you do it more than half an hour,
that will become labour, not exercise. Your heart and your body
will be working too hard," he says.
5. Shower with hot, then cold water.
Try an alternating cold and hot water shower: Three minutes
of hot water followed by 30 seconds of cold water, then
repeat twice more. This process will bring a rush of blood and
energy to your body. It helps increase your immune system,
blood circulation, and metabolism.
6. Drink a lot of water, in the correct way.
How much water you need to drink each day depends on your
specific situation. If your office is air-conditioned, drinking six
glasses of water a day is enough.
If your work involves lots of walking, you have to drink 8-10
glasses a day. If you work under the hot sun, then 10-12
glasses of water are required.
The way you drink is also important. The correct way is to
sip it little by little, to give your body cells time to absorb the
water. If you drink the whole glass down at once, your cells
can't absorb it all, and the water will be excreted as urine.
7. Eat according to your blood type.
Your blood type determines what you should eat. Eating the
wrong foods will make you sick.
People with blood type O have to eat a certain amount of
meat. If they eat only vegetables for a long time, their
body won't absorb all the substances they need to
strengthen their immune system. The recommended diet for
this group is 75% vegetables, 10% fruits, 10% meat, seafood
and goat's milk (avoid cow's milk), and 5% grains.
People with blood type A, however should avoid milk and
meat, while increasing grains and fruits.
People with blood type B should also avoid meat, while
those with blood type AB should avoid chicken and beef.
8. Eat according to your biological clock.
Every human being has a biological clock that tells us when
to eat, sleep, and wake up. If you don't follow your
biological clock, the organs will lose their balance.
Toxins and wastes won't be excreted from your body,
and soon you'll get sick.
According to Dr Wu, the biological clock is divided into
three phases.
From 4am to noon is the time for bowel movements, so in the
morning you should eat foods with lots of fibre. Fruit and
vegetable smoothies are recommended.
From noon to 8pm, your body will absorb food so lunch is
the most important meal. A vegetable salad with grains is
recommended...
Fish or boiled eggs can be added to your lunch. Avoid meat at
dinner as the amino acids in the meat will disturb your
sleep. Try to finish dinner by 6pm.
From 8pm to 4am, the nutrients and energy from food will be
distributed throughout your body organs. The golden time for
your sleep is between 10pm and 2am, as your immune and
self-healing system will function at its best.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
10 Rules for a Happy Marriage
1. NEVER both be angry at the same time.
2. NEVER yell at each other unless the house is on fire
3. If ONE of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. NEVER bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. NEVER go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once everyday try to say ONE complimentary thing to your partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to ADMIT and ask for forgiveness.
10. It takes TWO to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.
2. NEVER yell at each other unless the house is on fire
3. If ONE of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. NEVER bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. NEVER go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once everyday try to say ONE complimentary thing to your partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to ADMIT and ask for forgiveness.
10. It takes TWO to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Copy n paste
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who wasn't my wife !"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home.
He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years
of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife !"
The wife went "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the
joke, the manager finally blurted out " ... and I can't remember who
she
was !"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital
bed nursing burns from boiling water.
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!
He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who wasn't my wife !"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home.
He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years
of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife !"
The wife went "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the
joke, the manager finally blurted out " ... and I can't remember who
she
was !"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital
bed nursing burns from boiling water.
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!
Reflection of the Bible Stories
A young boy had just got his driver's license and asked
his dad if they
could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "If
you bring your grades
up from C to B, study your Bible and get your hair cut
....then we'll talk
about you borrowing the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd
settle for the offer
and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I'm
really proud of you.
You've brought your grades up and I've been
watching you studying your
Bible. However, I'm a bit disappointed that you
haven't had your hair
cut."
The lad paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad,
I've been thinking
about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible
that Samson had
long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long
hair and there's
a strong argument that Jesus had long hair too.."
To which his father replied, "Did you also notice they
all walked
everywhere they went?"
his dad if they
could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "If
you bring your grades
up from C to B, study your Bible and get your hair cut
....then we'll talk
about you borrowing the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd
settle for the offer
and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I'm
really proud of you.
You've brought your grades up and I've been
watching you studying your
Bible. However, I'm a bit disappointed that you
haven't had your hair
cut."
The lad paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad,
I've been thinking
about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible
that Samson had
long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long
hair and there's
a strong argument that Jesus had long hair too.."
To which his father replied, "Did you also notice they
all walked
everywhere they went?"
The Stranger
This is very interesting and not the ending I had expected!!!!
A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was
new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with
this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger
was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In
my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors:
Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the
stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures,
mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the
answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict
the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh,
and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other
to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet.
(I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt
obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not
from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with
four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try
it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant,
sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by
the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was
seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family.
He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still,
if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over
in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his
pictures.
His name?.... . .
We just call him 'TV.'
He has a wife now living we us....We call her 'Computer.'
A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was
new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with
this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger
was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In
my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors:
Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the
stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures,
mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the
answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict
the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh,
and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other
to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet.
(I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt
obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not
from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with
four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try
it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant,
sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by
the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was
seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family.
He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still,
if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over
in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his
pictures.
His name?.... . .
We just call him 'TV.'
He has a wife now living we us....We call her 'Computer.'
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